Monthly Archive for June, 2009

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Ahahaha! Falcon! Take THIS!

Who’s a guy with a huge muscular physique, pitch-black spandex, a colossal car with mediocre boosts, and metal hooves on his toes?

The emperor of brutality: BLACK SHADOW!

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Whatever!

Whatever, everyone. Whatever. Introducing Whatever Luigi and Whatever Ness. Whatever.

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The Escaped Elf and also Toon Link

On the peak of our globe lies a white land of harsh climate…

One building stands alone there.

It’s called “Santa’s Workshop…”

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Meet the Update!

Builders League United. Otherwise known as BLU, a company supposedly specializing in construction, but is actually in control of half of the world’s governments. The other half of the world’s governments is controlled by RED, Reliable Excavation and Demolition. Luckily, BLU has an elite team of mercenaries at their disposal. Unfortunately, so does RED.

It was a slow day at the BLU 2Fort base. There were only two BLU members on duty: The lady-loving, man-killing, sneaky Spy and the drunkard, off-kilter, scottish Demoman. They were lazing about the barracks, leaving their intel unguarded, for they didn’t think anyone from RED was nearby, what with almost all of them having been killed last Tuesday. Imagine their surprise when the intercom annoucned that their intel had been stolen…by a RED Scout. Making a mad dash, they went to try to prevent the Scout from getting their intel to his base.
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“It has to be made to be played! I’ll make MILLIONS!!”

Wario made this announcement at E3 this year…

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How fitting, this update is posted at night. ALSO ANNOUNCEMENTS

NiGHTS. The other Sega “flagship” series, arguably. The best reason to own a Saturn. The game that never got a sequel, sadly. Stop saying that! It didn’t get a sequel LALALALALA I’M NOT LISTENING. The game Sega fails for not bringing the PS2 remake out of Japan. The game that only has one spoken line, distorted. THERE IS NO NIIIIIGHTS. The game that perfected the feel of flying. NiGHTS did many great things, and now he can do more great things in Brawl. The dream-creature has been transformed into a superfast furry animal for your pleasure today. Enjoy. Now as for those announcements. After the zombie series, Jugg4n4ut will begin work on a second series. And on another front, we are now once again accepting tryouts for Stack Smash. Show us a sample of your work in the comments section and we’ll evaluate you for entry. We need people who are talented, quick at making textures, and enthusiastic. But I knoooooow you want the texture, so hit the jump for NiGHTS.

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ATTACK OF THE CLONES

No, this update is not about Star Wars. It’s about Pokemon The First Movie. Aka that movie you went to in 7th grade where they were handing out Mewtwo, Dragonite, Electabuzz, and Pikachu cards. You remember. That one. The one with the brainwashed Mewtwo-owned Nurse Joy slave advertising New Island to the many aspiring trainers. The one where Mewtwo started cloning things with weird markings. And that brings us to tonight’s update, a celebration of that corny, nostalgia-packed flick you went to ages ago.

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Krazy Taxi!

Not really Crazy Taxi, but it’s Taxi Driver Luigi! He’ll take you around the world, though he prefers to launch you with a blazing uppercut rather than driving you…

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